blank:

“beauty sleep” is such bullshit I sleep 12 hours a day and I still look like a trashcan

(Source: hamburgay, via intricate-elaborations)

Fuck this shit. I’m wearing a white tank top and a white bra. That should be fine shouldn’t it?!? No! It still shows through so I have to wear a white bandeau as well. Fuck this. This is stupid!

  • me: *In a very suspicious seeming alleyway*
  • police officer: what are you doing here
  • me: the real question is what are YOU doing here?
  • police officer: oh damn true

Joke of the day.

wanderoar:

roseonabeach:

frostedsammy:

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”

“Yes.”
“Oui.”
“Sí.”
“Ja.”

what

Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this

stupidest/most awesome joke ever

(Source: flyingscotsman, via insertcoolpunhere)